Back to school and I hate it there, I hate it there...

It's difficult to find the time, the patience or the right words sometimes. I worry that with a blog you can come across like a) illiterate or b) boring as fuck. When you're writing stuff for people that you haven't seen in 9 months, these kind of worries are completely rational.

So this is my excuse for delaying updates. That, and I always think hearing what people are doing while they're travelling and you're not must be the most dire fucking thing to read. It's one of my pet peeves when I log on Facebook, have a notification, squeal in obvious delight only to find it's from one of my friends from home (love you, guys) saying "Hey! How's Australia?!". And that's it. What exactly are you supposed to say here? Are you supposed to go "Oh, fine thanks! How's the UK?" and ignite the obvious small-talk that will ensue when neither of you give a shit, or launch into a tirade about where you are, what you've been doing, who you've met in the small hope that they care about any of it or that you don't come across like a really fucking irritating bragger. "Hey, so I'm having the BEST TIME EVER doing things that you're not in REALLY BEAUTIFUL places in REALLY AMAZING SUNSHINE". Ohmigod, vom. So that is generally why I leave it a while to reply to such Facebook comments, and hence why I rarely update this little blog of mine.

I've nearly been in Australia for 9 months, and I gotta be honest, it feels it. I have successfully travelled by combination of bus, car and plane from Cairns down the east coast, across the south coast and deserts to the west coast, up to Perth. There is nothing else I want to do here. I don't want to visit the rock (expensive, and let's be honest - it's a rock) and the only other thing I'd quite like to see (the Kimberley, thanks for asking) is an absolute mission to get to. Instead I will embark on a nice trashy trip back to the Gold Coast and save up all my cash to fuck off and head to Bali and Fiji before New Zealand. At least, that is the master plan. Every Wednesday, this horrible thing happens where I get fucked out of mind and spend money that is quite clearly screaming "NO, don't do it! You have flights to pay for! You have places to go.. don't wast- ah, she just swapped me in for Jager. Too little, too late." It happens to the best for us, but if I don't pull my act together soon I will not leave before June and that is not what I want. It's been pretty fucking rad over here but I don't want to overstay and end up resenting somewhere I've loved. I'm back at the Argyle to save up the cash and with hosp you just fall into this silly little trap that's so desperately hard to get out of: go to work, get paid, get shitfaced, sleep. It's too much fun to resist. I am working 6 days this week to try and not do the above, to avoid temptation, and to work my arse off to continue the extended holiday I never want to end.

I've been thinking a lot about what I'm gonna do, the 'Big Picture' if you will and I swear as you get older, you get even more indecisive. I don't want to go home. I miss it...well, maybe not it, but the comfort of it, and the people of course. But it's like, what am I going home to? I realise that the UK is probably where I'll settle first off, where I'll try and forge a path in an actual career and what not. Alas, I am not ready. Still. I am bored and I need to be stimulated, don't get me wrong, but I still don't know what to do. I am contemplating doing a PGCE in London and doing some work in underpriviledged schools for a bit before turning my full attention to film, like I know one day I will. The thought of teaching actually really appeals to me. To reiterate the cheesy spiel I've been giving everyone I've spoken to about it: if you can help one kid, one kid who suffers from abuse at home, comes from a disadvantaged background, one kid who is wrapped up in drugs and gangs and violence, if you can inspire them and try and show them another side, then you've done a whole world of good. I know it'll be one of the most difficult things to try and do - I remember the fucknuts I used to go to school with, but I dunno, it seems like a way to try and do something good for them. They are, after all, our retarded making, and therefore, our retarded future. Which is comforting.

So, a little itinerary.. stay in Australia long enough to save up cash, maybe another 6-8 weeks at absolute MAX. Then, off for a month holiday, 2 weeks in Fiji, 2 weeks in Bali. Then off to New Zealand in May time to go back to my beloved barwork for a ski season. And I WILL attempt to ski and I WILL attempt to snowboard. I am actually looking forward to some cold weather, but don't tell any Australians because I'll get beat up. Fo' real. Then I might do SE Asia on my way home. Might. Probably. Why not. I'm trying to come up with a nice end date to appease my Mother's poor mind.. perhaps home for this Christmas, and probably definitely home for S/S 2010. Hoo-fucking-ray. I wonder how it'll be going home. I always wonder that if you're gone for so long, do people just forget? Out of sight and all that. I go on Facebook sometimes and my Newsfeed alights with all these statuses about moving, new jobs, relationship statuses changing and you feel like you've been gone a million years and nobody even notices. Except I know that's not true because nobody can live without the staunch really, though they might pretend otherwise. S'ok, I miss you guys too.

This has been a bit deep hasn't it. I promise the next one will be more fun and jolly and I will recount instances where I've done fucked up things while fucked up.
Next installment: the time I returned from my trip, met Sylvia and consequently got kicked out of the bar I work in. I will also tell about my new love for hip-hop that's wildly escalating out of control and how I finally finished The Wire and my life changed.

Until then, nerdlingers..